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Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from millennium. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with problems, cause sadness, and other troubles. In addition you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, money, age dissimilarity, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.

For the purpose of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married.

Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affairs. I suppose mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.

Naturally we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the method?

Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You would need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.

No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest grouping, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.

Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.

Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, generally the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a number of reasons. As a man I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.

Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is vanished, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.

The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.

There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.